Your friend? I’m probably going to reply to them.
Also… that wasn’t retaliation. That was me responding, because what you did was way out of hand and damn right I was going to be upset about having my words twisted like that. But I don’t reply with intent to hurt. I do, however, tell people where they were wrong, and how they were wrong. Why you deleted your entire blog because of that, I do not know.
This blog? It is personal. It is me talking about shit that happens on a daily basis, mostly related to race because that is the lens through which I view my life. As a result of my speaking up on oppressions that I face (as well as the oppressions of all PoC as a collective group, Black people as a collective group, PoC women, etc etc etc), I get a lot of hate. I get a lot of people twisting my words, in the same way that you and your friend did. I get racial slurs almost every day. Harassment, rape threats, death threats, slurs, etc. And if it’s not me, it’s one of my friends, who has the nerve to speak up on what they go through.
This is what happens to us for speaking up. We don’t target anyone. We just speak. Because this, a blog, is the only safe space for us to vent freely, and even here, it’s not even safe (see the threats I listed above). Go through my past asks. It gets nasty to the point where I’m gonna give you a trigger warning for explicit rape, violence, and racism.
On top of that, I get people twisting my words and then trying to come for me based on what they think I said. And you know what? That gets tiring as hell. That gets annoying, and it gets infuriating because when I’m speaking out on very real issues that are impacting me and others, I do not appreciate having someone who has clearly missed the point, twisting everything I said and jumping on me for it. I have enough people riding my ass on Tumblr alone in one day, and I do not need more.
So if I reblog your friend with a response, let us be clear: It’s not retaliation. It’s not out of malice. But if my response is angry, I am justified in that anger. I don’t owe anyone my kindness after they pull some shit like that. Because she, like many others, missed the point completely. And if you look at all of the asks I’m responding to now? Do you see the lengths people will go to to lambast you for stating the very facts that they would find if they bothered to type it into Google?
Naturally, there comes a point where I, like anyone else, runs out of patience. My patience ran out long before she decided to reblog anything of mine. She is the one who misconstrued my words. She’s the one who rode my ass for shit that I didn’t say and tried to find false implications where there were none. She’s the one who took it and ran with it. (And she is far from the first, and I guarantee you she is not the last.) But whatever consequences come of that, she should be exempt from? No no no. And me reblogging her, calling her out on her shit, isn’t a punishment of any sort. It’s me going, “Hey, you’re accusing me of this, and this is not what I said.” Plenty of people who reblog me and others and attempt to harass us and do worse than your friend did, do so from their personal blog.
And if she didn’t want to deal with me, she shouldn’t have directly addressed me, while reblogging something that I wrote. That is a sign of engagement. And I’m not going to coddle her because she didn’t fully read what I said before trying to respond to it.
So if I choose to reply to her and she gets her ass read six ways from Sunday? That’s her fault. If anything spins out of control, that’s on her, not me. But more than likely, I am not just going to stand by and give her a pass for twisting my words.